Sometimes there are just these supposed moments of clarity that are actually only full of clouds.
Moments where you think there is an epiphany of sorts that is simply a stop on to some larger understanding...i'm not sure what the larger understanding is and I ache to be able to reach it.
tonight was so amazingly wonderful. Full of old friends, new friends, strangers even and I just was KFF-Kacey FUCKING Fisher. On the ball, talking with people, making people comfy who were lonely, making new friends, laughing when just right and telling the most perfect story.
And my heart ached...and I don't know why. maybe it was the weird small world scenario I found myself in at one point, painfully reminding me of how human I am, of all the mistakes I've made, of how I've opened my heart and been hurrt, how I have NOT opened my heart and let someone in.
And how this is life, how it is not black and white, how it will always be this way, full of regrets and amazing moments all at once and totally complete and full of meaning while having no meaning whatsoever.
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