There are times when you watch a movie that breaks your heart in a million pieces while at the same time being uplifting.
I do volunteering with RAINN - the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network. They provide a phone hotline and are the first to provide an online hotline chat. Which is an amazing resource for survivors of sexual assault. Quite often, the online chat may be the first time they tell anyone of their experiences. The anonymity it gives provides a level of trust and comfort that just can't be found elsewhere.
There is a documentary out there called "Searching for Angela Shelton." A woman takes a journey across the country searching for other women named Angela Shelton. "24 out of the 40 Angela Sheltons she speaks to are survivors of rape, childhood sexual abuse and/or domestic violence. (The number jumped to 28 out of 40 when 4 more Angelas broke their silence after the movie was completed.)"
I think it is a movie everyone should see. You can rent it thru iTunes. Warning, it will move you and shake you to your core. It is not easy to watch at points. Angela confronts her father who assaulted her and her sister throughout their childhood. Her reaction to his response - I have no words. But anyone who has a wife, sister, mother, friend...someone you know has been touched by sexual assault whether you know it or not. I urge you to watch this. And if you are able, donate to www.rainn.org or another charity of your choice that supports survivors.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
On Death and Dying
Yesterday we celebrated the life of my Aunt Janet.
Her funeral was back in June and was a typical Catholic mass followed by an atypical ...well the only word that might describe it is - reception. The room was setup with round tables for the luncheon we were having, and the feel was definitely that of a wedding reception instead of a somber funeral. An open bar was there and they served more drinks during that time than in the history of any of their weddings. Janet's cousin got up and began to talk about Aunt Janet, starting out with the story of Janet's "breakfast beer." A 7oz miller lite in a pony bottle...and right on cue, the rest of the cousins swooped in with a pony beer for everyone. Bottles were raised, a toast was had - there was not a dry eye in the room, nor anyone without a smile on their face.
Janet's wish was to have her ashes spread on the ocean so she could spend the rest of her days at the beach-her favorite place in the world. A boat was chartered and 50 of us boarded to celebrate Janet. Miller Lites were again passed around in her honor. We saw numerous dolphins swimming and playing in the boat's wake and could only guess that Janet was smiling down on the whole thing. When we reached just the right spot the boat was stopped-again the Miller Lites were passed around for a final toast. Her son in law said a few words, and the bag pipes played Amazing Grace as her daughter scattered her ashes to the best beach condo ever. They followed the ashes with a half a can of miller lite. There was not a dry eye on the boat.
Back to the condo for some good food and good company, the party lasted until nearly 11pm. 13 hours celebrating a wonderful woman's life sounds just about right.
All of this has left me thinking about what I'd want for my own funeral or memorial. Part of the estate planning stuff we've done recommends that you figure out what is you want so in the event of your death it's planned and taken care of and your loved ones don't have to guess. It's a hard thing to think about-acknolwedging your own mortality. But I do now know that I want it to be a celebration, not just a stuffy formalized ceremony. Partying for 13 hours...sounds like a good way to celebrate to me.
Her funeral was back in June and was a typical Catholic mass followed by an atypical ...well the only word that might describe it is - reception. The room was setup with round tables for the luncheon we were having, and the feel was definitely that of a wedding reception instead of a somber funeral. An open bar was there and they served more drinks during that time than in the history of any of their weddings. Janet's cousin got up and began to talk about Aunt Janet, starting out with the story of Janet's "breakfast beer." A 7oz miller lite in a pony bottle...and right on cue, the rest of the cousins swooped in with a pony beer for everyone. Bottles were raised, a toast was had - there was not a dry eye in the room, nor anyone without a smile on their face.
Janet's wish was to have her ashes spread on the ocean so she could spend the rest of her days at the beach-her favorite place in the world. A boat was chartered and 50 of us boarded to celebrate Janet. Miller Lites were again passed around in her honor. We saw numerous dolphins swimming and playing in the boat's wake and could only guess that Janet was smiling down on the whole thing. When we reached just the right spot the boat was stopped-again the Miller Lites were passed around for a final toast. Her son in law said a few words, and the bag pipes played Amazing Grace as her daughter scattered her ashes to the best beach condo ever. They followed the ashes with a half a can of miller lite. There was not a dry eye on the boat.
Back to the condo for some good food and good company, the party lasted until nearly 11pm. 13 hours celebrating a wonderful woman's life sounds just about right.
All of this has left me thinking about what I'd want for my own funeral or memorial. Part of the estate planning stuff we've done recommends that you figure out what is you want so in the event of your death it's planned and taken care of and your loved ones don't have to guess. It's a hard thing to think about-acknolwedging your own mortality. But I do now know that I want it to be a celebration, not just a stuffy formalized ceremony. Partying for 13 hours...sounds like a good way to celebrate to me.
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